


3 tequilas and a prison sentence

by Halcyon99



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, Drunk Fic, Drunk Izaya, F/M, Gen, Jail Fic, M/M, cheerleader costumes, drunk anri, drunk masaomi, drunk mikado, drunk shinra, drunk shizuo, light shizaya, the drunk adventures of Ikebukuro's finest, tie in with a tumblr picture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7611679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halcyon99/pseuds/Halcyon99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shinra holds a house party in Celty's name but due to unforeseen circumstances, the guest of honour can't come. Cue a night of Izaya party crashing in the name of loneliness and spite, drinking games, law breaking, sexual tension and cheerleader cosplay in the name of a dare. Will Ikebukuro ever know peace? Can Mikado get laid? Why does Izaya know Shizuo's clothes size? What is going on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	3 tequilas and a prison sentence

It all started on an atypical Friday night. Shinra was a “very” loving man to put it politely as possible with this love or deep rooted obsession (different strokes) he had the utterly brilliant idea to host a “fantabulous” party, a grand shindig; for the love of his life, the one in his life. Celty~ (Isn’t it lovely how invitingly it rolls of the tongue?)

But Shinra being Shinra always has an ulterior motive, that motive which is…Finally getting the praise of his treasure, to finally see him as a “a functioning member of society” although kinky sex is obvious the cherry on top. 

3 days before 

“Hey.”

“What? Shinra?”

“Are you free on Friday?”

Shizuo desperately looked around his vapid apartment for an excuse, anything would do. Honestly at best he can tolerate Shinra for about 2 hours at a time, he had a thin patience. 

If this plan for Friday involved another experimental “guy time” including the Flea, there would be no way in hell, or in the universe. He’s spending forced “guy time” in a rundown karaoke bar in Shinjuku, at 3am listening to Kadota. Singing off-key enka to a seemingly nonchalant Flea trying to start drinking games to how many notes Kadota drops while an overly horny Shinra is blubbering on about doing explicit sexual acts with Celty, those of which would make a jigglo blush. 

“No, Shinra. I have to…m-meet? I have to meet Tom.”

(Nailed it)

“Suuuuure Shizuo, I’ll check with Tom.”

“What?” 

(Shit)

“I have good news for Shizuo! I’m not sure if you got the memo from Tom but apparently he’s out of town from Friday to Saturday soooooooooooooo you can come!”

At that moment, it felt like the tatami flooring underneath Shizuo just swallowed him up just to drop him in, his own personal hell of cheap cocktail drinks (he decided that he could also make better than that poor barman) and god knows how long of Flea. 

He was in shock, HE WAS TRICKED. THIS ALL A PLOY BY THE FLEA TO FUCK HIM OVER AGAIN!

It made too much sense. 

“Heyy, Shizuo are you still alive?”

“Y-yeah”

Oh god, his voice was actually hoarse wtf. Absentmindedly a calloused hand reached his throat, in shock. 

"By the way, you'll be happy to hear. Izaya isn't coming, although the Raira kids are."

"Who?"

All Shizuo remembered of the "Raira kids" was air conditioner? Koda? And glasses girl? 

Besides, at least that lurking areshole isn't there to "entertain" his presence like as such of last time. The most noticable memory being, the game of Russian roulette proposed by him which was previous the 3am enka torture. Why Kadota why?

"You don't remember the Raira kids? I honestly I don't blame you but Celty is fond of them~ Celty, my love this party is for you"

"SHINRA."

"So see you, Fridayyyyy"

Unannounced to the two callers, Izaya being his isolated self was listening to the conversation through a self made application. Fondly he remembered the istance of Namie walking in on him in the middle of the process of making the said app. Instead of filing the information on some immigrants called Isaac and Miria so far all he had on them is that they are from America also they are part of the dollars. The Namie conversation ended rather unpleasantly for the two parties. Himself scalded with burning green tea on the crotch (hurt like a bitch) so he took the initiative of taking 20% off her paycheck. That day dinner was served colder than her stone of a heart. 

Although after the loss of a hotpot party (rip) Izaya made it his goal to crash the party. To make it crumble with choas...A plan rose from the depths of his depraved mind. He'll need to wait until the monster sleeps to get the "gold." 

Godforbid.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I have no idea what I'm currently doing. I was going to try and update "masterpiece" but hey shitposting calls~ Sorry...This is crack but I'm trying still to get the characterization right also hoping this is funny anyways reviews are always welcome~ 
> 
> By the by, check out @ssaika on tumblr; She's a hoe that's is an Izaya fangirl which is also aes trash


End file.
